Mourning to Dancing

I have a list going of blog updates I want to do.  Some of you have asked me about how our new family diet is going since new year's and I have that post coming...it's going great by the way.  I have some healthy recipes and also some recipes on homemade cleaners I want to post.  I started making those last year and have spent a year narrowing them down to the ones that I like and work the best so that is coming too.  But for now...

The main question I keep getting is..."how are you?"  Pretty simple, but lately it no longer holds the mediocrity that it once did and doesn't receive the typical answer of "I'm doing great" because I know what people are really asking me.  So how am I?  Well, if you asked me today I would actually say great.  I got all my thank you cards written for Mo's birthday, I played blocks with Boss, did homework with J, I am planning on working out this afternoon...all the normal Vincent mama routine.  And I have been happy all day.  However, if you would have asked me on Sunday or maybe this girl who caught me in a puddle of tears running of of the Baby Dedication, I would say devastated.
God has us in such a sweet place right now and it's hard to explain.  There are days of joy again after what feels like a long drought, there are times of pure excitement and anticipation (we accepted an offer on the house this week, yay!), and then there are still times of anger, disappointment, and lots of tears.  We are finally gonna get to move...but our little boy who we thought was going to be joining us in that exciting day won't be.  As soon as I think I am fine, I realize I am not.  Sunday for example, I was gonna go to a baby dedication and pray with one of my best friends who was dedicating her baby.  I get there, I start to worship, I look down and in the seat in front of me Heather has all the baby dedication certificates, and I realize that our little boy isn't going to get one of those at the November dedication this year like I had planned.  I turned around and walked out...and a flood that I absolutely was not anticipating is there all over again just like the first week.  Later as service ends, Ellen turns around to hug me and I ask, "when will this pain go away?"  And she responds, "in a very long, long time...but the Lord promises He will turn your mourning into dancing."  She is not the first person to say that to me and I don't think she will be the last.  The Lord has a way of using His people when He wants to get a message across to you.  That is His message to me lately and I am just holding on for dear life for the dancing....it's coming.

You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
      You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,
  that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.
      O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever!

Psalm 30:11-12