Thursday, February 23, 2012

Lent 2012


“Okay… Lent. It’s the preparing the heart for Easter. Like going with Jesus into the wilderness for forty days, that we might come face to ugly face with our enemy. Our sacrificing that we might become more like Christ in His sacrifice.” -Ann Voskamp

We celebrate Lent every year in our home.  It is not something that we do with our church community but it's something that both Matt and I grew up doing in our homes and we believe it holds great value.  As most of you know, Matty V is big on fasting and has done more than one 40 day fast.  Lent is a way for us to connect to the Lord as a family through fasting.
This year, Matt and I had decided together that we thought giving up all sweets would be a good choice because it would be a healthy thing for all of us and also a hard sacrifice.  Now we don't have sweets every day but my boys do request that I always have a few batches of frozen cookie dough in the freezer for our movie nights and the occasional 1/2 gallon of Blue Bell.  So 40 days without any of that would be tough for us.  
At bed time when we were praying and reading the Bible last night, Matt announced that Lent had begun and we were going to discuss as a family what to give up.  He said how we had thought sweets would be good and Jack immediately said no to that.  He was quite willing to give up books, coloring, and outside play time (which was actually really surprising).  We explained that fasting was the act of sacrifice, giving up something to the Lord so that you can grow closer to Him.  Matt looked at me and I said, "I think we should leave him to pray about it and see if the Lord speaks to him."  So we prayed, read, and told the boys goodnight.  I was fully anticipating that he would wake up in the morning wanting to give up homework for Lent. :)  Regardless, I prayed that the Lord would speak to him.  Minutes later, he called both of us in to his room and said, "I prayed and I keep hearing sweets, sweets, sweets.  I think that's what I am supposed to give up."  
Ah...isn't the Lord awesome?  He can speak to all of his people...big and small.  And I believe He speaks the little ones more often because their hearts are so open to Him.
40 days of no sweets has begun...

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Mourning to Dancing

I have a list going of blog updates I want to do.  Some of you have asked me about how our new family diet is going since new year's and I have that post coming...it's going great by the way.  I have some healthy recipes and also some recipes on homemade cleaners I want to post.  I started making those last year and have spent a year narrowing them down to the ones that I like and work the best so that is coming too.  But for now...

The main question I keep getting is..."how are you?"  Pretty simple, but lately it no longer holds the mediocrity that it once did and doesn't receive the typical answer of "I'm doing great" because I know what people are really asking me.  So how am I?  Well, if you asked me today I would actually say great.  I got all my thank you cards written for Mo's birthday, I played blocks with Boss, did homework with J, I am planning on working out this afternoon...all the normal Vincent mama routine.  And I have been happy all day.  However, if you would have asked me on Sunday or maybe this girl who caught me in a puddle of tears running of of the Baby Dedication, I would say devastated.
God has us in such a sweet place right now and it's hard to explain.  There are days of joy again after what feels like a long drought, there are times of pure excitement and anticipation (we accepted an offer on the house this week, yay!), and then there are still times of anger, disappointment, and lots of tears.  We are finally gonna get to move...but our little boy who we thought was going to be joining us in that exciting day won't be.  As soon as I think I am fine, I realize I am not.  Sunday for example, I was gonna go to a baby dedication and pray with one of my best friends who was dedicating her baby.  I get there, I start to worship, I look down and in the seat in front of me Heather has all the baby dedication certificates, and I realize that our little boy isn't going to get one of those at the November dedication this year like I had planned.  I turned around and walked out...and a flood that I absolutely was not anticipating is there all over again just like the first week.  Later as service ends, Ellen turns around to hug me and I ask, "when will this pain go away?"  And she responds, "in a very long, long time...but the Lord promises He will turn your mourning into dancing."  She is not the first person to say that to me and I don't think she will be the last.  The Lord has a way of using His people when He wants to get a message across to you.  That is His message to me lately and I am just holding on for dear life for the dancing....it's coming.

You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
      You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,
  that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.
      O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever!
Psalm 30:11-12

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Rocket Party

We love our little man to the moon and back!!!

Look at the cute fruit rockets that Jess made!






Pics of Moses' first year!

Jack and Boston's 1st Birthday pictures!



I completely forgot to take a picture of the cake!  Ugh.  But it's a astronaut and an American flag on the moon!  And Mo seemed to like it!

The pinata at the 1st birthday is a family tradition.  Moses laughed hysterically the whole time!
















































































































































































































































Oh and here's the NASA hoodie I was so excited to wear for the party that came in the mail 10 minutes after everyone left.
1st Birthday parties are always so fun!  Matt says they are more for the parents than the child, so he pretty much lets me be as cheesy as possible!  Yay!  
Happy 1st Birthday Moses!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Moses' 1st Birthday

Our baby Moses turned 1 today!  
We started the day out with his breakfast fav...blueberry muffins!
For lunch, Andma and Mama came over for a little celebration.

87 year old Andma celebrating 1 year old Moses...priceless.

Then tonight we had our family celebration.  We took Mo out for his first car ride in his new big boy seat.  He was more than a little excited to be able to see out of the car!
And in Vincent fashion, we went to "chick-o-lay" for his birthday...ya know, just to make sure we broke the car seat in with a couple fries.  Then we came home for a little more cake for our 1 year old!
This morning Matt and I woke up to our little man standing between us beating on the headboard and shouting "Dada".  It's so hard to believe that it's been a year since he was born! 
One year ago...we had just finished laughing hysterically at you tube videos of Bill Hader (actually trying to get the labor going...hysterical laughter does it for me), Matty was falling asleep, Mary and I were having a fierce game of Words with Friends, and I got up to get something when...whoosh.  And you know what sound means ladies.  My water broke with the one who the Lord had said would be named Moses (drawn out of water).  My God has an awesome sense of humor!  Well this whole water breaking thing had never happened to me before.  It had happened to my sister 9 days before me when she gave birth to her first little boy, but it hadn't to this Hafey girl.  So we waited around kinda not sure what to do for a bit.  We loaded the car, I continued my Words game, we talked and laughed on the couch...and then came the contractions.  For the first hour, they were about 10 minutes apart...again, a new thing for me.  With the other two boys the contractions were 5 minutes apart right from the start.  My mama said, "wait til they are down to 7 minutes, then I will meet you at the hospital to get the boys."  So we waited another hour and they went straight to 5 and there was no turning back at that point. 
On the way to the hospital

We rushed to the hospital, the boys went with Grammy, I got my epidural...which this is the fun part...that thing never kicked in!  Apparently, I was too far into labor for it to do a whole lot of good.  Great news. 
Now after having our strong willed Boss via c-section because he didn't want to turn, this VBAC was quite the experience for Matty V.  He was amazing though, coached me through the whole thing...4 hours and 4 pushes later...our little Moses was born.

You bring such delight and joy to our lives Mo!  Throughout this past month, rocking you to sleep has been my sweet place.  We are so thankful for you little man and we can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you.  Happy 1st Birthday MoMo!

Valentine's Day

Valentine's in our house is a family holiday.  Matty and I aren't really big fans of the couple celebration side.  Why might you ask...we don't really have a huge reason, we just aren't big fans.  We celebrate our anniversary and our dating anniversary every year and those are way more special to me than Valentine's.  We do have some fun around here with our kiddos on Valentine's though.  Look at Jack's valentine's he gave out this year...isn't he so cool?!

We did our annual Valentine's morning treasure hunt which Jack made me promise was gonna be long and really good this year.  Twenty clues later ended with a little of this...

That night we had a Valentine's family dinner with red pepper tortellini bake and this brownie pudding cake which Jack made all by himself!  And Laura gave me this awesome idea about putting love verses out for each child at the table.  I wrote a verse for each boy and then a little note from Daddy and Mama about a way that they show love to our family.  And it ended with a little of this...
Apples (um, yes even after that big meal my boys still wanted a snack) while reading the latest in our  Little House series.  And that's me in the middle relishing this time when I have 4 valentines to celebrate my day with! 

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Family Rules

Making family rules has been on my big whiteboard family calendar for a year and a half!  However, it took a little while to come up with those rules and the verses for them!  I really wanted it to be a defining thing for a family, rules and verses we would all memorize and live by.  I spent the last year recording some of our Vincent rules and sayings. Then Matt and I have spent time scouring the Scriptures to come up with the right ones for each rule.  Without further ado...in the words of Boston...TA DA!





1. Vincents Do Not Lie (Matt has been claiming this as our number one rule since Jack was like 3.) 2 Corinthians 4:2
2. We are a Team (another big one of his) 1 Peter 3:8
3. Humble Yourself (it's in pink which I thought was great for that one in a house of boys.) 
   Matthew 5:5
4. We always praise our God (this is one we have felt deeply convicted by during the past month) Job 1:21
5. We Study God's Word Joshua 1:8
6. Daddy's in Charge (and he gave Mama a wooden spoon)..we got a little country on that one. :) Exodus 20:12
7. Serve one another JOYFULLY 1 Peter 4:10
8. We hold each other accountable James 5:16
9. Work Hard Romans 12:11
10. We give our first 10% to the Lord Leviticus 27:30
11. Don't ever quit Hebrews 12:1-2
12. Love unconditionally 1 John 3:16
13. Pray together everyday Colossians 4:2
14. We have grace...for ourselves and each other 2 John 1:3
15. We keep a family Sabbath day Exodus 20:8

Shout-outs

I got to thinking about the last post and how many fellow blogger girls let the Lord shine bright through them to make it possible.  I thought you might wanna know them too cause they are pretty awesome.  The following are some of the women of God who have made a huge impact on my heart in the past month and if you are looking for a great blog to read today, check them out...

RENDERINGS--She uses super big words and a lot of them...she's an English professor.  But Candice is super spunky, has a HUGE heart, and if you read all the big words, she's pretty hysterical.

SCHWARZ GANG--My dear mentor and friend, an inspiring pastor, and amazing woman of God...not a big poster but when she does, it's worth it.

WELCOME TO MY WORLD--I have said it before about her and will say it again...6 kids, all love Jesus...she's worth knowing.

SONNTAG FAM--New mama to precious little Evelyn, awesome life group deacon...learning as she goes and sharing it all with ya!

MYSTERIES AND MIRACLES--my favorite homeschooling mama who loves the Lord like crazy and has been emailing me verses the Lord has given her to speak to me.  She has fun family ideas and some pretty sweet stories with her kiddos.

Love you girls!

Friday, February 3, 2012

Digging Deep

A few short weeks ago, Matt and I were faced with an opportunity...we could get angry and bitter and walk away.  Or we could DIG DEEP and enter into what would be the most difficult time of our lives thus far.  We could surrender to the Lord, throw ourselves down at His feet, tell Him how angry we were, tell Him how our hearts were breaking, cry and throw a fit in front of Him, beg for His mercy and grace, and then be still and wait upon Him.  Let me just tell you girls, that was not what I wanted to do.  I wanted to give up, I wanted to cry everyday for the rest of my days, and I wanted to give in to the enemy.

The kind of man that when his wife wavers, he’s held -Ann Voskamp


Thank the Lord that I have a husband who wouldn't let me to that.  He literally had to pray against the attacks of the enemy day after day, he had to physically hold me up at times because my body was so weak I couldn't bear it, and he had to skip many a night of homework just to hold me as I cried in his arms.  Because he has chosen to be "held" and not waver in his faith, even for a second, because so many of you prayed for us when God led you, and because I am the daughter of a merciful Lord who lets me be REAL when I need to be, God has blessed us in huge ways.  Here is the list from my journal; it has the personal ways that people touched me and also the ways that God moved in miraculous ways.  Let me just say, I have gone back and forth about whether to put this on our blog because it's extremely personal...however, in the end I came to  three conclusions: 1) when God shows off, it's worth sharing and 2) all of these things happened because you prayed and I believe you deserve to see what God does when you pray and 3) God told me to.

 -I called my mama has soon as I had got off the phone with Matt.  If you know my mama, you know that she loves with her whole heart.  She cried with me and comforted me while I made the long drive home to Matt.  She also watched the boys after surgery, cried with me, made me gingerbread and tea (as all good mamas do), and sat with me all afternoon that day.
 
-My cousin went through a miscarriage at 26 weeks about two years ago.  I was so heartbroken over it; I actually had to leave work that night.  She called me within 5 minutes of me sending her an email that I had lost the baby.  She prepared me for the attacks of the enemy that were going to happen and the pain I would go through in that next week emotionally.  She continued to lead me through the weeks ahead.

-I texted Ellen as soon as Matt and I had finished praying the day we found out.  She was at my house within an hour.  Her words of…”This was a pain that I wish you never had to experience” were so comforting as she held me sobbing on her.  We lost our little boys in the same week of their development and had them taken the same way, through d & c.  Since I don’t believe in coincidences, I find it extremely comforting that 18 years ago, the Lord knew she would be walking me through the exact experience with me today. 

-I emailed the 4 closest women to me the day that it happened.  Every single one of them called me that afternoon to talk and pray with me as I cried. 

-Two of our best friends lost their first baby two weeks before us.  Matt and I spent the weeks leading up to finding out our own child had gone, grieving with them, praying with them, and leading them through it.  God prepared our hearts for such a loss before we knew what was about to happen and he completely prepared their hearts to walk through it with us. 

-We are reading through the entire Bible in 2012 with our boys and the night that we found out, Matt read Genesis 29 about Leah having 4 boys.  Leah’s 4th boy was named Judah which means praise.  We took this as a sign that the Lord wanted us to praise him for the loss of our 4th boy.

-I have literally read every book I could find for the past couple months about heaven and people who have gone to heaven and come back.  I was fascinated with them.  I know why now.  And when I woke up from surgery Matt told me that he had gone directly into the bathroom when he left me and had it out with God, crying, yelling and praying.  While he was in there he remembered about the father who did that in Heaven is for Real and how his little boy had seen him crying and praying while he was in heaven with Jesus.  He felt as though that same thing was happening to him.

-The morning after we found out, we got an email from someone who said that we had been really heavily laid on their hearts and their whole family had been praying for us during their devotional time the night before around 7pm.  They did not find out until 11pm that night what had happened to us and why God had laid us on their hearts.  

-My sisters sent me the exact flower bouquet I had carried in my wedding, but the sister who ordered them had not been able to attend our wedding...she had no idea I carried them.  I told her it was as if the Lord Himself sent them to me.

-Those same sisters showed up on my doorstep 5 days later..."just to drink coffee and BE together."  And if you remember how I feel about them...they are the people that I can JUST BE with. 

-Wednesday, I was rocking Moses to sleep and he kept laughing.  And he was laughing almost hysterically and I wasn’t tickling him or anything.  And he wasn’t looking at me; he was looking at the window.  I believe that God had sent someone to be with me that day and Moses could see him.

-Our dear friend who has been at the birth of our two youngest boys was at the hospital the day we had to go in for the d & c.  She left labor and delivery to take us to the surgery area of the hospital and stay with us until we were called in.  Our doctor was so worried about Matt during the procedure that he sent her out to check on him and make sure he was okay.  And she was there holding my hand when I woke up crying from surgery.  

-In the waiting room while I was in surgery, a woman came up to Matt and asked him if he wanted to pet her dog named Willow.  But Matt didn’t want to be bothered.  The woman was old and kind and cheerful and talked to Amy (our friend who works at the hospital) instead who was sitting with Matt.  While they were talking she said that Willow had been born on Matt’s birthday.   This was the first of several times Matt heard or saw his birthday that week.  The ways that Matt’s birthday were appearing were so specific it felt like God was going out of His way to tell Matt He was there.

-As soon as Matt saw me after surgery, he read 2 Corinthians 4 to me which he said the Lord had given him while he was in the waiting room.  It is about clay jars that are fragile, pressed on every side by troubles but not crushed.  “Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus will be evident in our dying bodies….That’s why we never give up.  Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day.  For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long.  Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!  So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen.  For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.” 
A few days later, Matt went to Old Colorado City to get two clay pots.  I think the specifics of why we needed these should be kept between the Lord and us but let's just say it was very important to have these clay pots and to have two of them. When Matt went in to the store, he searched for a long time and everything seemed too expensive, too big, or too ornate.  Finally he found the perfect one, and then one more.  The pots were marked at $50 each but he asked the man about the price and he came down to $17 each.  Still it was too much to buy both but Matt bought one of them.  Then as he was walking out the man ran out to give him the second pot and said to go ahead and take it.  Matt felt God wanted him to bless the man, so he said “God will bless you for this.  Thank you.”

-My sis-in-law got me the Pioneer Woman cookbook as a gift two days after surgery.  So simple, but so wonderful.  Cooking and baking has been a love of mine since I was a wee little girl in my Grandma's kitchen.  Being in the kitchen again after the hardest week of my life with a brand new cookbook I had been wanting for years, was such a blessing.

-My other sis-in-law let me know day after day that she was praying for me and that God was walking with me.  She also helped comfort Matt while I was in surgery and from what I have heard from our doctor, he desperately needed someone and I am glad she could be that person on the other end of the line.

-We found out about a week after surgery that Matt's aunts on the east coast had been praying the novena, a Catholic prayer that lasts 9 days, for us.  I specifically attribute many of the things that happened to their "unceasing prayers".
-I received text after text the day of the surgery from women who said they were praying for me and loved me.

-After the expense of the surgery, we emailed our children's pastor to tell her we could not go to the Faith Steps Summit, a parenting seminar being held at the church.  Ellen had told us we should go because of some things that we are going through with Jack but that was just not going to be financially possible at that point.  By that weekend, someone provided the way for us to go.  And then when I thanked her...she said, "Dear friends, what else is family for?"  Wow.

-About a week after we found out, our life group deacon emailed me to let me know that the Lord had been laying me very heavily on her heart.  She said He had specifically asked her to pray that “I would know God's presence, would feel cared for, and that I would know He sees you & has not forgotten you.”  She had no idea what had happened.

-We had meals brought to us the week that we found out.  I could barely even get out of bed, physically and emotionally and it was a blessing to have them.  One of my dear friends and mentor brought me my very own chocolate cake.  Each day, I looked forward to that piece of cake and a cup of coffee and that got me from the morning to the afternoon…such a small thing but made such an impact on my heart.  

-A friend came over when Matt had gone back to work and I was recovering to bring me a couple books on miscarriage.  She had been our premarital counselor.  A week later we went out for coffee.  She had lost a baby at the same time and had a d & c.  Again, I just find the Lord’s planning so awesome.  I told her that I never could have imagined when we were going through premarital counseling four years ago and looking forward to our future that this would be in it.  And that she would be walking with me on this journey that she herself had taken.  

-This has to be my favorite…The Lord had told me two weeks before we found out that I was pregnant that I was going to become pregnant and he told me the name of the child.  The night after we found out he was gone, one of my dearest friend, Laura brought over a meal for us.  With that meal she brought over an old Broncos jersey for Jack.  She left and I started opening up the meal.  I picked up the jersey and the back had the name on it.  I went to show Matt and we both just started crying immediately.  It was so clear that the Lord was wrapping His arms around us.  When I text her and told her she said, “I kept forgetting to bring that jersey to you, and I remembered it today.  I felt like today was definitely not the right time to bring it, but felt like God told me to take it anyway.”  Because she let God use her in that way, she took my anger and loss to joy and hope.  There is a part of our family waiting in heaven, a little boy with the name God gave me, and I will get to meet him one day.  I am so thankful she let God use her in that way. 
--Laura came over for coffee yesterday and elaborated on the story of the jersey.  Long story short, she bought it two years ago and ended up being the the wrong player, her son had wanted a different jersey.  She has tried several times over the past two years to return it or get rid of it and every time God stopped her.  As I retold this story to Matt last night, we were in complete awe of the Lord.  She bought that jersey two years ago and God has stopped her from returning it in those two years just so he could have her bring it to our house the day we lost our baby and confirm who he was and his name for us.  There really aren't even words to describe to you how I feel about that.  

We serve an awesome Lord and I pray that you see that through these journal entries we chose to share with you.  The only thing that has gotten me through this is the way that He has so obviously shown up and reminded me that He loves me.  He has given us so many blessings through each of you.  I feel so unconditionally loved by all of you who have prayed for our family.  Your prayers have been heard and they have been answered.  I am also so very thankful for my husband who has led me through this whole process.  He prayed with me and praised God the second he found out.   He praised God in the weeks when I couldn’t.  That man danced with me in the recovery room while I wept on him right after he had read 2 Corinthians 4 to me.  We lost a child together and I just think that changes you as a couple.  It has changed our relationship with the Lord and brings it to a whole new level of trust and reliance that we didn’t have three weeks ago.  We have never been closer with each other and we have never been closer with our Lord.  It's been a journey girls but it is a journey worth DIGGING DEEP for.